July 21st, 2017

In case you were somehow unaware, nobody goes without the bad days. Sometimes they happen in waves, and most of the time they’ll catch you off guard. I’m currently working through a lot of the lemons life is forcibly chucking at me: money was stolen from my desk at work the other day, I found a lump in my breast that night, and the next day I found out that my car got towed. All situations that, at the time, felt soul-crushing. All happening within two days of each other.

I’m feeling exhausted, and not myself. I’m feeling confused, lost, and anxious. I have never wanted to lay in bed and sleep all day as much as I do right now. But, I’m at work. And I’m still kicking along. Trying to, at least.

I’m not writing this to tell you that painting on a big smile and suppressing the bad moments is a reliable means of getting through it. Sometimes that’s just not the solution — and I’m a huge advocate of focusing on the good moments in the day. I’m here to tell you that I, as a human who experiences, feels, lives, and breathes, have every right to lay in bed and sleep all day. I’m here to tell you that if I want to cry by myself, snuggled up in all of my most comfortable blankets — I’m gonna do it. I’m here to tell you that sometimes that’s absolutely necessary. I truly believe that all feelings need to be felt, wholeheartedly, and that doesn’t always happen when you’re trying to save face for the people around you.

But – I’m also here to tell you that those actions and behaviors should not be your end-all, be-all solution. I’m here to tell you that, eventually, you’re going to need to get on with your life. I’m here to tell you that, eventually, you absolutely will get up and dust yourself off. Jump in the shower. Listen to your favorite music while you’re in there. Feel every drop of water that lands in your hair, on your shoulders, down your back, and on your toes. Breathe.

For me, one bad day carried onto the next day. Sometimes that happens. Because of this: I’m going to go home, lay in bed with my computer, and binge watch my favorite shows. I’m going to make food that makes my soul feel better, and I’m going to let myself cry if I need to. I’m going to do this all, because I can. And then… tomorrow, I’m going to get up and dust myself off.

It’s important to relish in your emotions. It’s also important, if not more so, to move forward from them.